here we go again...

here's the line to the song i'm listening to right now...

"here we go again, I kind of want to be more than friends.  so take it easy on me, I'm afraid you're never satisfied"

Brilliant.

My itunes is better than any psychic. 

Do you ever get that feeling that something is on the verge of happening?  I do, and then it does.  And it usually isn't very good.

The last time I had this feeling was a few years ago.  There were 2 different boys involved.  I wasn't, for the record, dating either one.  No matter what anyone says...There were also 3 different girls.  One of them was me.  And I knew, I just knew, this was all going to blow up in my face.  And it did.  And I was guilty...in a way.  I was NOT dating either of them.  But I wasn't trying very hard to not date them either.

So here's the feeling again.  And since I tend to be right on when it comes to these things, I'm kind of terrified.  And a little excited.  And kind of guilty.  This time there are just 2 boys involved and only one girl.  Me.  I am not, for the record, dating either of them.  But I may be trying hard to.  Or trying hard to date one of them, and the other one is getting caught in the middle.  Here is the problem for me:  I'm not sure which one is which. 

How awful am I??? 

I want to state that one of these boys has hurt me, alot, in the past.  In fact, the next song itunes has given me tonight is also a pretty good match...

"I know i can't take one more step towards you, cuz all that's waiting is regret...I've learned to live, half alive, and now you want me one more time.  And who do you think you are running around leaving scars?  Collecting your jar of hearts, tearing love apart."

I literally feel myself balancing, precariously high, and I know I'm about to fall.  I don't want to lose either one.  But I know that I only want one.  And by only getting one, I will have to lose the other. 

Something big is coming, I can really feel it.
Good thing neither of them live in the same state as me, or eachother for that matter. 

love & stuff...lots of stuff...

:)